Archive for September, 2013

Stab me in the back again?

Posted: September 28, 2013 in General

Of all the crap I’ve been going through with the death of my Dad, my sister taking every thing that daddy had and putting the screws to me royally, now I have a nosey neighbor who insist on inflicting even more pain about my daddy than I could have ever imagined possible. She comes up with some allegations that she says my daddy told her that I will never believe because my daddy was not a  person who would confide in someone of her nature (meaning she was a mooch of money from my dad till I put a stop to it) I won’t say what she said he said about me but I know this one fact it is a pack of bold face lies, it was like she was trying to make me hate my daddy. I don’t know what kind of sick ass scheme she is trying to cook up but it’s not going to happen any one who knew my daddy would know that is a bunch of bull about what she is saying, but it sure does make me look bad to people who don’t know us or me for that matter and I have to wonder if she is being paid to say this stuff which wouldn’t at this point surprise me at all money does seem to be what she is after that was very clear to me when she kept borrowing money from daddy with bogus hard luck stories which showed me right off she was milking daddy for hundred dollar bills at a time for a while till I arrived here and put my foot down. Yes I did tell daddy to tell that woman he was NOT her first national bank and daddy knew I was right so that is what he did, but she still tried every chance she got to tell her bogus hard luck stories and a few times tried to pull that crap on me wanting to borrow money but that don’t fly with me. All this stuff along with stuff I did not mention is kind of like I am beginning to see a conspiracy and lord knows that is not a good way to be thinking because it’s crazy to think that, people need to leave me the hell alone that’s all I ask I’ve been beaten down my grief, greed, and betrayal so please people just leave me ALONE 

To be continued

Posted: September 15, 2013 in General

I have so many things in my head I want to write, I need to sort them before I can begin my mind is running 100 mph right now and that is not a good time to write emotional stuff. Ok here is something strange I left the key board to refill my morning coffee and while standing in my kitchen I looked over at Bone’s food bowl to see if he needed more food in it and there in front of his bowl was a brand new shiny key on the floor what the hell? there is no one who lives in this house but me and I know Bone’s has no use for a key so I will say this again What the hell?

Standing on the outside looking in

Posted: September 10, 2013 in General

When I was a little girl I wanted the whole world at my finger tips as most young girls I was prepared to grab the tiger by the tail so to speak, it took forever to reach my 13th birthday so I could be called a teenager and finally be able to wear a very light shade of lip stick (lip gloss with just a hint of color), my mother had always made sure us girl’s (my sister and I) knew how to iron our own clothes,and always told us as I think most mothers did to never go out without a fresh pair of underwear on, I never really thought much about that statement until later in life it was just something my mother would always ask me before church, school, or any time it was out the front door, doing the last final check to make sure a young lady to be was presentable in the outside world.

I wanted to be pretty and I always thought I was not bad looking but in my eyes all the ugly girls always got the good looking guys or that is how I perceived it anyways, I could never understand why it always felt like I was on the outside looking in through a window when it came to meeting perspective boyfriends or even friends for that matter. I was not shy but would never make the first contact either I felt like that if they liked me they would strike up a conversation or at least speak in passing to give me an indication they might want to talk or hang out then I would join in but I was never ask to join or hang out first, after the ice was broken then every thing would be fine. I also seemed to steer towards the less fortunate students or the under dogs as we called it, I hated it when others made fun off them and felt it was just wrong so I always stepped in to say “get lost” I could be bold when I felt I needed to be and as we all know kids can be brutal, mean and even cruel, it wasn’t going to happen if I was around. I always would talk to them because I felt bad that they never had any one who would talk to them even if it was just to say hi. Did the other students judge me for that? yes I think they did, later as an adult I did run across a woman I knew in school she was shy but I didn’t know that at the time said to me “I always wanted to be like you” she began telling me all the things she had admired about me and said that other students felt the same way.(what a surprise that was to hear)

When I was a young adult I tried being the life of the party but soon faced the fact that I was not having fun so I quit that, I was not a party girl. I would see and hear stuff from people back stabbing each other and playing both sides of the fence with those that was suppose to be their friends, gossip, and spread untrue rumors and knew that scene was not for me either. This was my first step in separating myself from life’s bull shit. I was raised to know that a husband and wife was married for life no matter what, and thought that boyfriends was suppose to be faithful too and when it started going south two people was suppose to talk it out and if found the relationship was over then both walk away not with bitter regret but an understanding that the relationship was not meant to be and respect it for that, no anger, hostility, or harsh words.

I am very sensitive to people’s aura and soon found very little I liked about being around a crowd of people, some folks I just can’t stand in the same room or area with them they just don’t feel right or they feel bad giving off something but never knowing what it is. Do I need help? am I the one who is going off the deep end? depression? no I don’t think so, I just found I don’t like people but in very small doses and very short time periods, after that I have to go. Thank goodness for the internet, I can be social with folks and when I have had enough I can turn them off, I like solitude and being secluded from the world, I am part of this world but not off it. I hate what is going on in this world, people places and things are not as they should be, when you take God out of the schools, government, and let others claim they was offended by God’s children then there is no room for me in their world (not that I wanted to be with them in their world any ways).

I enjoy social activities in very small doses and love my solitude, I can also stay inside my house for days and never so much as walk outside but hey! that’s just who I am, I like who I am, this works for me and in my opinion that is all that matters.

Sister’s obsession is driving me batty

Posted: September 5, 2013 in General

I’ll admit that my parents kept papers of all kinds out the wazoo ok? there are receipts dating back to 1946 and maybe even earlier, she keeps telling me she needs my help going through all those papers and I keep thinking why? she is obsessed with finding all his account numbers on stuff, but the truth of the matter is she already has those numbers, close those accounts burn all the papers that are just eating up her time and move on to something else. The one thing she claims she did not find was the title for the truck and I know that would have never been misplaced and should have been in his main safe box, I can file a lost title and get another copy so I can transfer the truck to my name so that is no biggie, I just wish she would take the simple route and just burn all the papers, good grief don’t make something more complicated than it needs to be right? I bet if someone digs deep enough they might even find a saved gum wrapper or some other item from when they was kids who knows  and who cares, just get rid of all the papers and receipts of crap they don’t even own any more such as washing machines that are long dead and gone or refrigerator’s long dead and gone etc  they spent days going through every paper and I don’t care so I have not helped I don’t waste my time with petty things, I say burn it all

Continued success with music boxes

Posted: September 4, 2013 in General

I wrote yesterday about the picture frame music box that would not play, every thing we did would not work and we worked with that thing a long time so I just brought it home to my house, as I entered my house the music box began to play and has played perfectly ever since. I got the idea that I would bring more of the music boxes home that we could not get to work home and well they now work just fine too. Now here is the strange part I took one of the music boxes back outside and it would not work no matter what I did to it, I even made sure it was sitting level on a hard surface and nothing the music box will not play but the minute I brought it back inside my house it plays can any one explain this to me?

Confused smile

Is Inheritance money worth it?

Posted: September 4, 2013 in General

This question is not a big concern for me, I live in Texas and I am on Social Security Disability Insurance or SSDI  so as far as my benefits goes they will not be effected same would apply if I was on regular retirement social security, it does not matter how much money you have your benefits are paid regardless. Texas is a no state tax state so I’m good on that end, most Inheritance money is tax free so I may be good on that end too, but keeping my fingers crossed just in case there is small print some where. People who receive social security insurance or SSI or who may along with the SSI receive Medicaid they would not be so lucky at all, those people would lose the benefits they was receiving so I count my blessings I am not a charity case.

My sister on the other hand is more than likely going to pay out the yen yang for her share of the cash inheritance, as a non resident of Texas she will have to pay a non resident tax to Texas along with all the taxes that are for her own state as well as pay to the IRS since she is still working but the same may apply to her state about inheritance tax so she may get a small break if her part is also tax free, I don’t know what her state tax issues are like but I kind of understand that Missouri taxes every thing you own.

I still need to seek out an accountant to make sure my finances stay on the up and up but I still think I will come out smelling like a rose far better than my sister will, I am so glad I keep my life and money simple, it’s going to pay off in the long run.

Open-mouthed smile

Just a bit strange

Posted: September 3, 2013 in General

My mother had many music boxes of all kinds, I brought one of them home it was a picture frame music box with a picture of me in it, but no one could get it to play as a matter of fact none of the music boxes would play and we just thought it was because they was old and had been in that curio cabinet for so many years. When I walked into my house the music box began to play it played until it wound down so I turned the key all the way again and again it played like it was brand new and has worked ever since. I think the music box was meant to come home with me and it has found it’s home. I’m going to bring a few more home today and see if they too will start to play.

Fingers crossed

Final resting place

Posted: September 3, 2013 in General


The United States military Navy division was there to pay full honor and respect to daddy at his final resting place, including a 3 gun salute, the riffle squad had to stand far off due to how this cemetery is laid out and private homes are close, but this town could hear that an honored and well respected member of the United Sates Navy was laid to rest. My daddy will be missed by many who knew and loved him, he touched many lives here in this small town, he left us in this life but will never be forgotten, rest now daddy I will see you again when it is my time.

I can only speak for myself on the topic of Syria at this time and I really hate talking about politics, but the talks of a strike against Syria concerns me as I am sure it does many citizens not only here in the US but other countries as well. What good does it do for us once again to stick our nose into other countries business? Do we as rational human beings really believe that we should be the ones to give a slap on the wrist as a warning to a war that’s none of our business either? what we need to do is shore up our defenses here to make sure non of their crap comes flying our way, keep watch in our back yard and let those people over there just kill each other, war is all they know any way and it will be that way till some country or all of us nuke each other

On a humorous note just for laughs: The first lady needs to slap her husband and tell him to sit down and mind his own business and shut the hell up


Nightmare on Adams street

Posted: September 2, 2013 in WTF?

This was a nightmare week for me, on Monday 9/26/2013 a young man of 19 was murdered 50 feet from my bedroom. On august 28, 2013 my daddy died and I began not sleeping, I think I have had maybe 9 hours of sleep since Monday.

Now here is where my story takes a turn for the worst, My sister which is the oldest and her husband finally arrive a day and a half later and I go over to greet them as they get out of the car, my mind is already in a major brain fart and the brother in law starts asking me questions about finding the list of names and phone numbers daddy had so I could call some of the people on it (there was no list only 16 pcs of scraps of paper with scribbled names and phone numbers on them) he talks so fast and changes subjects all in a span of 25 seconds and my mind which is in a major brain fart has to think a minute before I get the right answer but in the mean time he gets a bit snippy so yes I said “yes I called the uncle in question and then said “what do you think I am stupid or something?” that is BUTTON # 1 pushed with me.

The story gets worse from there, we sit down and I am trying to catch my sister up with all the details and the brother in law keeps talking over me so I have to talk louder so she can hear me, then the brother in law starts making comments that sounds something like this “I think your making stuff up dad wouldn’t say something like that” BUTTON # 2 just got pushed! being the person that I am and being annoyed I turned to him and said “you need to stay out of this because it is about me and my sister so shut the fuck up.

All hell breaks lose at this point, the brother in law says “I am more family than you will ever be OH HELL NO! I lost it at this point this fight is ON I said plenty and so did he, then I said to my sister she needed to get in the real world and tell her husband to butt out and to stop being so wimpy by letting him get away with his shit. NOW I’M the bad guy because I made my sister cry to add insult to injury they then go around telling every one that I came over there as they arrived just to start a fight and never telling what started it in the first place. They have made me feel invisible this whole time right down to the funeral director at the arrangements being made, yes I know the oldest is the one who should handle most things, but to come in there and insist on all his mail, credit cards and taking over as if I was some dumb ass is just plain rude with no regard to my feelings what so ever and start throwing out daddy’s things just didn’t feel right to me he was not even in the ground yet.

My daddy bought me a house to live in when I moved here and I was taking care of him, his eye sight was failing and he needed someone to help him, he did this because he signed his house over to be held when he had to place my mother in a nursing home and he knew that when he passed the state would take his house to recover money that they paid in Medicaid for my mothers nursing home care and he wanted to do this so I would have a home no one could take away from me, he then told his brother why he did it and a few others so they too would know, besides what daddy did with his money while he was alive and of sound mind is no ones business any ways I NEVER ask him for any thing he gave it freely.

My sister thinks it is unfair that I got a house long before his death, and that I am taking his pick up truck and I should get half of what ever is left after all his bills and expenses are paid and yes maybe it is a bit unfair but my house was a loving gift from daddy. A GIFT not part of his estate, the estate is what assets he has at time of death am I right? if I am wrong then someone tell me so.

I will say this again yes maybe I did get more from my daddy than my sister but I never ask daddy for anything and he loved it that I was finally where I could be home and stable without having to drive the big rig and be on the road all the time. There is no room for jealousy and that’s what this all boils down to pure and simple so all I can say is GET OVER IT!

Do I expect things to go as they should? NO do I really care? NO if it don’t the fight will on again, will I be the bad guy? YES will I win? YES